Supporting Senior Loved Ones As They Age

As we age and the average life expectancy increases—currently at just over 76 years of age—it becomes inevitable that at some point, parents or elderly loved ones will need assistance to navigate their later years.

If this scenario sounds familiar or you're fast approaching the time, you need to be the person who helps ensure your loved ones retain their quality of life. 

These tips are designed to help you care for their health, offer support, and ensure they can continue to get the most out of life day after day.

Understand Their Needs

Before you make any plans, you need to understand the care and support your loved ones need at this time. Have you noticed changes in their behaviors? Has there been a deterioration in their cognitive abilities? Have they developed a health condition or illness that needs additional care or navigation?

It might be that they are doing great and need you to just be around for them for company or emotional support. Or you might need to look at more intensive types of help in their best interests, such as arranging for power of attorney if their health or mental capacity is diminishing or considering full-time care in a specialized facility if they have a severe health condition like Alzheimer's or dementia. These decisions could also involve significant changes in their living situation and daily routine, and it's important to consider these options carefully. Don't try to guess what they need or do what you think they need. Take the time to really understand and appreciate their current situation to offer the appropriate help or support.

Get Help and Support

Once you have a clear idea of their health and needs, you can then look at the type of care and support you can provide for them. This could range from being the one to take them to their hospital or doctor's appointments and help with health insurance or Medicare claims to finding memory care facilities near me to get them full-time care in the event of an Alzheimer's or dementia diagnosis. You might also consider home adaptations, such as installing handrails or ramps, to help them with reduced mobility.

There is a wealth of options available for you to consider when it comes to the help and support on offer. This could include their living arrangements, health care, or mobility assistance. It could also involve helping to keep their home in order, such as using meal delivery services that provide nutritious meals to their doorstep or hiring home help services to assist with daily chores and tasks.

Be Realistic

​It's important to be realistic about what you can and can't realistically offer in terms of help and support. Acknowledging the responsibility this will have on your life and their life, too, can be a relief. It can be a massive undertaking and time-consuming if they need additional help and assistance. Overestimating your ability to offer what they need will only lead to resentment on both sides and potentially a breakdown in the relationship. Be honest about the time you can offer to help them, how this will impact your current lifestyle, and if you actually want to be the person in charge of helping your loved ones. It's not for everyone, and there's no shame in admitting you can't or don't want to care for them full-time. Remember, your well-being is just as important as theirs.

Share The Load

Following on from the above point, if you have other family members who can share the load, then ask and involve them so you cover all your bases. Even if your parents or senior family members only need a weekly trip to the grocery store and are managing really well with other aspects of their life, if you cannot commit to it every week due to your work or family commitment, then asking others for help to take over when you can't is a great way to get support. And if there is no one else, then looking for service providers, such as home care agencies or meal delivery services, can be a great option. Taking it back to the weekly grocery shop if you can't take them and no one else can; using delivery services can be a great compromise in this instance, as can home help support those who can take them or do the shopping on their behalf.

Communicate

Communication is the cornerstone of caring for or offering support to elderly loved ones. You and your loved ones need to know what to expect, how and when you're available, and what you're offering. Keep the lines of communication open and check in regularly so that everyone knows what is happening and understands. This open dialogue will reassure everyone and ensure that everyone's needs are being met.

You can easily fall into the trap of taking over and running the show; however, this miscommunication can only cause issues further down the line if one or all parties become frustrated or resentful.

Always try to be clear and respect boundaries for both sides to ensure that everyone is happy with any arrangements that are put into place. Communicate any changes or important information, such as changes in their health condition, financial situation, or living arrangements, and never make a decision without their explicit consent or input on the subject.

Self care

Lastly but just as important as caring for others is caring for yourself. If you're not ensuring you're in good health and physically and mentally able to offer the right level of care and support, it will be detrimental to your loved one and your health.

So, while you focus on caring for those around you who need it, add yourself into the mix because you deserve to be taken care of, too.

Taking over some or all aspects of care for senior parents or family members can be complex and challenging. While it's a selfless act to do so, you need to be careful about how you approach this intervention into their lives, treat them with care and respect, and ensure that you are setting effective boundaries for both of them to retain a healthy relationship.

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