How To Seek Closure For A Sudden Loss

Everyone experiences loss at some point in their life, but that doesn’t make the experience any easier. What it may be, however, is more or less expected. Then there can be moments which feel like complete shocks to the system, not only because you weren’t expecting them, but because such immediacy feels so unfair.

It’s important to accept whatever feelings you have in the moment, but also reach out for help if you’re struggling. Most people do struggle, and there’s no shame in it. Once the initial shock has worn off and you begin to assist with administrative efforts or helping relatives and friends go through that process, you may wonder what to do next.

Finding closure, on your own terms, isn’t always easy. As helpful services such as Curcio Law know when helping wrongful death lawsuits, sometimes the process is necessary and can bring you a form of justice, but closure may not be so obvious.

In this post, we’ll discuss how to try and progress it:

Consider A Real Gesture To Say Goodbye
People often talk about closure like it’s a door you just shut and walk away from, but grief doesn’t really work like that, it can usually hang around in the corners and show up when you’re not expecting it, so having a moment where you do something important to you can give all those feelings somewhere to go. 
That might be writing a letter and keeping it tucked somewhere safe, or planting something in their name, or taking a quiet trip to a place that meant something to both of you, whatever feels right in that moment, without worrying too much about whether it looks like the “right” thing to do. It might even give you something to focus on, like training for a marathon and fundraising to the charity.

Accept There’s No “End Date”
The idea that grief follows stages or that you eventually get through it like ticking off steps on a to-do list doesn’t really hold up when you're in it, as grief rarely follows a set routine. Moreover, you can be totally fine for weeks then get hit by a memory in the middle of making dinner, or find yourself laughing about something they used to say and then crying a few seconds later without really knowing why, and that’s just how it is for a while, sometimes a long while. 

Now, there’s no right way to do this and no official point where it’s all wrapped up and sorted, which is actually somewhat freeing when you stop trying to rush to some invisible finish line and just let yourself carry what you need to carry. Be sure to talk to your loved ones or an impartial source, is important.

Begin To Focus On The Love & Memories Shared
After the difficulties fade a little and things settle into whatever the new version of normal is, you might notice that your brain slowly starts reaching for the the love you shared, and that’s not letting go of the grief, it’s just letting more space in for other things to sit beside it. There’s a kind of comfort in remembering that they existed in full colour, not just in the moment they left, and keeping those parts alive in conversation or stories or just how you carry yourself day to day becomes its own kind of tribute, so focusing on that, both consciously and subconsciously, is likely how the person you lost would prefer you thought.
With this advice, we hope you can more easily seek closure, even for a sudden loss.

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