How Adults Can Maintain the Best Relationships with Their Parents

As you get older, your relationship with your parents changes. It's different when you're all adults. They might still be your parents, but you're also someone with their own adult life. You might even be a parent yourself. Settling into a relationship that works for all of you can be tough. It's a very different dynamic but, at the same time, there are times in life when you still want support and love from your parents. Plus, as your parents get older, they might find themselves increasingly needing your support too.

So how can you and your parents maintain a good relationship? Things can sometimes get pretty complicated, but there are also plenty of things you can do if you want your relationship to be healthy.

Be More Independent

Some people need to learn to separate themselves from their parents more as they get older. It's not always easy to recognize that you're an independent person with your own adult needs and control over your own life. But realizing this can help to create a much healthier relationship between you and your parents. It can allow you to set better boundaries and be more at peace in your life. As well as being able to stand up for yourself if your parents ever try to give unwanted opinions or advice, it also helps you to avoid demanding too much of them.

Address Communication Issues

Good communication is a must for any relationship between parents and adult children. However, it can be hard to get into the right communication practices when you're used to doing things a certain way as a child. But now that you're an adult, there's a chance to communicate on a more equal level and find communication methods that work for all of you. It's also important to recognize other obstacles that might make communication difficult. Hearing loss is common for older people and can affect communication significantly. Fortunately, advances in hearing loss treatment mean that it can also be addressed easily. Hearing loss is often a communication obstacle that you might not realize exists. That's why hearing tests are so important for your older parents.

Recognize Your Parents as People

Something that can be tricky to do sometimes is recognize your parents as individuals who are capable of making mistakes. No one can ever be the perfect parent or the perfect human. Of course, this doesn't mean that parents shouldn't admit to and apologize for the mistakes that they might have made. But it's also worth thinking about whether you are holding onto resentment that isn't productive for your relationship, or whether you're holding your parents to higher standards than you would anyone else.

Spend Quality Time Together

Just because you've grown up, it doesn't mean you've outgrown spending quality time with your parents. You can still get a lot out of hanging out with your parents, and it doesn't feel nearly as embarrassing as it did when you were a teenager. When you have your own family, it's not always easy to get time alone with your parents. But arranging to do things together can allow you to be closer and even give you some opportunities for important conversations. Spending quality time together could mean planning an activity, but it could equally just be staying in together for a few hours.

Be Interested in Each Other's Lives

​Taking an interest in each other's lives is one of the best ways adult children and their parents can maintain a connection. Whether you live close to each other or there's some distance between you, checking in regularly will give you a chance to talk about what's happening in your lives. Ask your parents how they are, what they've been doing recently, and what their plans are. They should return the favor and take an interest in your life too.

Respect Boundaries

Respecting each other's boundaries is also important for both you and your parents. Your boundaries can shift as you get older, so it might be necessary to make sure your parents are clear about what they are. You should also be respectful of any boundaries your parents might set too. This can include things like what information you share with each other, what topics you discuss, or what kinds of help you're willing to give or accept.

Creating healthy relationships with your parents when you're an adult can take time, but it's worth it. Being able to communicate, support each other and have fun together is amazing.

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